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Mark vs. Hernando Cortez

Posted 11-14-2001, 21:41
by Mark Kreutzer

Scatagories is the game of the gods. I was partaking in this divine activity a few weeks ago and the usual problem occurred: there was a dispute over an answer -- mine. The letter was "C," the category was "Monster/Villains" and in my haste I put down Hernando Cortez as my answer.

In a flurry of insults, my answer was disregarded before I could plead my case. I got hammered; all four other players felt Cortez was not a villain at all. Taken aback, I decided that I would take my case to a higher court; namely, the esteemed readers of the Northwestern Chronicle.

Cortez is a Cold-hearted, Ruthless Villain! –Mark Kreutzer

Hernando Cortez should not be remembered as a good-natured historical figure, but should instead be forever known as a pitiless, compassionless man. Now I didn't know him personally, but I do know that he was a really bad guy.

Recalling the lessons we all learned in world history, Cortez sailed to Mexico and convinced the Aztec people that he was some sort of god. With this prodigious ruse in place, he then proceeded to steal their gold, burn their villages and the great city of Tenochtitlan, and engage in mass murder of the Aztecs. Doesn't that sound like a villain to you?

After developing a bond with the priest-king Montezuma, he cold-bloodedly murdered him. With the benefit of 500 trained solders, superior technology and many other battlefield advantages, like the use of domesticated horses, Cortez defeated a passive people and became a dictator-king, all in the name of Spain.

Oh Cortez, you make me queasy. Very, very queasy.

Let history show that Cortez was an evil, evil villain!

Hey, I'm Not Such a Bad Guy –Hernando Cortez

I don't know where this Mark gets these uproarious ideas about me. He said himself he doesn't even know Cortez, so I am here to defend myself.

Now some facts in the American history books are true; I did take a trip to Mexico to see what was going down in the New World. And yes, I did have some run-ins with a few Aztecs, but they started it. I didn't want any trouble. I only defeated their "glorious" Empire because it was my job.

I had a choice between (a) becoming a simple farmer, trampled on by the nobility and lusting hopelessly after pockmarked peasant girls; or (b) become a conquistador, gain lots of gold and get some real women.

What do you think I was going to do? Growing vegetables was not for me, pal. I'm a conquistador -- of course I conquer stuff!

But you know, all that conquering was just a job. You ever see the movie "A Few Good Men?" I was acting under orders. I'm not liable for anything. You know, I had no idea Noah Wyle was in that; you learn something new everyday ...

(Stay on target, Cortez!)

This whole "project" was all for the glory of Spain.

And greed. There was some greed in there too. But don't listen to this guy Mark. He says there was "mass murder." I say I got rid of a few bad apples. He calls me a "dictator-king"; I say I was a teacher and leader. He says villain; I say misunderstood.

Furthermore, Tenochtitlan was a dump when I found it. The gold ... they gave it to me. (Well, whatever I didn't steal.) And Montezuma, you know, he fell on that knife. Honest.

So, in conclusion, I demand that these false allegations be dropped. Cortez isn't so bad, right?

You may not agree, but this is the world from Hernando Cortez's eyes.
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Congrats!
by Fishy Fish (fishysqueakfish@hotmail.com) on 06-10-2008, 20:21

Good job, this is pretty cool. It also helped me on my social project. Awesome, My opinion: Hernan was pretty greedy, then again, he`s only human. Oh well.


hi
by bill (ddcasey07@hotmail.com) on 06-03-2008, 14:24

thats dumb dude


hey
by hujk (bhklm@hotmail.com) on 05-19-2008, 08:46

no 1 cares dude and u helped me a lot thank you!!


sure this helps people in school
by mac (harodude6069@aol.com) on 04-16-2008, 11:58

it does help me but in the real world no one cares!


why do u do this?
by mac (harodude6069@aol.com) on 04-16-2008, 11:56

Dude why does anyone care about some guy from the stone ages. the truth is no one does!


thank you
by not provided (caseyriana@aol.com) on 03-02-2008, 11:30

this helped me a lot on my essay ! thanks a ton


I really liked what you wrote up there
by Annie Chen (annie.z.a.chen@gmail.com) on 02-26-2008, 06:26

Dear Author,

After I read this, I had alot of ideas for my essay. Thanks alot. That was really some writing up there! :)


you mean
by julius (juliusmcdonald@yahoo.com) on 02-12-2008, 15:37

dat was hella mean wat u did to the aztecz


YER LAME!
by Kathleen (kathughlean@yahoo.com) on 01-13-2008, 13:18

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.



dudeeee, you dont know what yer talking about and if Cortez was a hitler wannabe thats AWESOME. hitler was a highschool drop out and look what he did with that. Cortez is seriously a well respected man. You need a life dude and get yer facts straight.

mhm.


your idk
by jazzy (kinda_lova@hotmail.com) on 01-10-2008, 22:22

ok well he isnt that bad people wanted him to be ther mayor and then governer and they were the ones who thought he new his deals but ya and he also was a famous guy from 1511-1519 so ya and they decided it so ya im only doing this because you guys are wrong


HERNANDO CORTEZ
by KORIMA (MOMMAS11@YAHOO.COM) on 12-13-2007, 08:38

HAY I HAD TO DO A PROJECT ON YOU


...
by ~Anonymous (...@blank.com) on 11-05-2007, 19:16

YOU ARE WIERD! Who has the time to make this stuff up? :) But still, it was pretty funny...


hun?
by bob (bob@hot mail.com) on 11-03-2007, 18:46

What the heck are you talking about?


whatever
by Hates USA (upurass@bokenglas.com) on 10-12-2007, 20:33

seems that George W Bush is the same......and look at the skagho he sleeps with..yuck.....Bush n Cortez have a lot in common...robbing.plundering pillaging raping for fun n profit........so its been about 7 centuries. n Bush is picking up the same old score.. do unto other..than bomb them...into nothing


FUCK the USA


email
by yuanaka (spencemarhjighschool@yahoo.com) on 10-05-2007, 12:20

u need to have things so that if u cant print then u can email them to urself.


hernando cortez
by katerina (ma5o.pRiinCeZz@hotmail.com) on 09-01-2007, 02:02

heyy i have this history assigment and i cant seem to find the answer to this question ANYWHEREE....

'Why did hernando cortes want to conquer the aztecs?'

pleasee if youu knoww pleaseeeeeee tell meeee! =]


CORTEZ THE KILLER
by kevin kline (xsmackly@yahoo.com) on 08-02-2007, 17:49

hernando cortez was nothing more than a punk with too much power.who tricked the mayas and aztecs into beleiving he was a god . in short cortez was nothing but a hitler wanabe. EVAN MAYA EMAHO!


People PLZ!
by fjkdsl (dsjkalsa@knowitall.com) on 05-29-2007, 18:51

Montezuma WAS very religious. His religion told of a white, bearded man who would show up.



so there, they treated them the way there ruler told them to. Cortes did nothing and forced nothing.


u are misunderstanding cortes
by sdjfkls (fhdjsfhdsj@knowitall.com) on 05-29-2007, 18:47

montezuma was not murdered. When he was brought out during an uproar to help calm his people, someone threw a rock and had hit him in the head. He never survived the injury.

Oh and another thing, Cortes is not greedy, he could have had all of that land for himself. Instead, he named it all in the name of Spain. Just like a loyal Spaniard. GO CORTES!!


yeah, so all you stupid idiots:
by emelie (xoxluvinguxox@hotmail.com) on 05-23-2007, 20:04

this guy is right on the money. and he DOES know what hes talking about. he did an insanely good job on this article and is a very talented writer. he gave me a lot of information for a school essay and his nme and sit will be appearing on my bibliography. im printing this article for my tacher as well :)


bgfx
by hbgfd (gfdhbgs@somethindumb.com) on 05-08-2007, 12:18

hi ya! what kinda weirdo r u mark? why r u talking about this and who is ur history teacher? Forest Gump?


huh?
by bigbird (bigbird_2006_666@yahoo.com) on 04-26-2007, 12:12

who is this guy?


Cortez or Cristobal Colon
by Matador 1 (vasquez1jr@hotmail.com) on 03-29-2007, 20:03

You are mad, but if you want to get more MAD look for Cristobal Colon or Cristobal Colon17 and the OTHERS, Cristobal Colon Descendents they are still getting money since 1636 lots of money,(your tax Money) and the Descendents of any other king, duke, Markes, prince ETC that ever existed also colects money, every country in America still pays royalties to the European Countries that conquested them or like everyone says for having discovering them. That's AMERICA and that is SAD,and ones you read about this learn to leave it.


Cortez and the others
by Matador 1 (vasquez1jr @hotmail.com) on 03-29-2007, 19:45

It happend, so what... he came here, took what he wanted, left back misery and deseas like any other Spanier, English, French, Portugues, German,ETC in that time. Thats all they did and thats all they do now and to the goverments that is OK, so learnd to live with it.


cortez
by ice sk8er (ysannecleife@hotmail.com) on 03-03-2007, 07:36

cortez WAS a dictator, evil monster, etc., so there!


guess who's back
by jj (mushrombo49@hotmail.com) on 01-07-2007, 16:10

im back ( i just laughed manicall) this is all crap


p
by Hi (mushrombo49@hotmail.com) on 01-07-2007, 13:49

you guys are useless i have to do a report on this guy. talor you idiot! Psyco He He


...............................!
by Hi (mushrombo49@hotmail.com) on 01-07-2007, 13:45

you guys are useless i have to do a report on this guy. talor you idiot


...............................!
by Hi (mushrombo49@hotmail.com) on 01-07-2007, 13:43

you guys are useless i have to do a report on this guy. Desoto is dumb


hernando cortes
by sandra (sandysiurek1996@yahoo.com) on 12-30-2006, 09:23

can u put his reasons for exploration,area he explored for,and result and benefitsexploration


retards
by big rob (robertsalazar@yahoo.com) on 11-15-2006, 16:44

youre all wrong its been proven napaleon killed montezu you need to get of your as@$es and acually do some studying



by (whoever@ whoever.com) on 11-14-2006, 11:53

Hernando DeSoto convinved the Indians he was a sun God. Get yoru facts straight!


You know nothing
by Taylor (iamtheteam@yahoo.com) on 11-08-2006, 14:10

While Cortez did do ruthless things, there are a few things you missed. Firstly, Cortez did not convince them he was a god. Montezuma II was extremely religious and Cortez reached Mexico in the year of Quetzocoatl, who was known as the


Cortez - Mass Murderer
by Raheel (knightstar79@hotmail.com) on 10-30-2006, 14:18

Señor Cortez, I only have one word to describe you - Monster. I remember reading about him in a book called the World's Most Dangerous Men. I was shocked to read about the terror this


Could You??
by HP (giddyup314@sbcglobal.net) on 10-24-2006, 21:24

Hi! I thought that was really entertaining watching your view of Cortez and then Him defending Himself. Nice. Hey, so I was wondering, do you know any really good websites to find out tons of information on Cortez?? If you find them, do you think you could send them to me? Real Soon?? Please, because I'm doing this report. Thanks! :)


wow
by ashley glover (1526@sam) on 10-09-2006, 17:28

wow!!! i haven't read it


hehe
by funkyjund (funkyjund@homtmail.com) on 10-04-2006, 19:44

hello

















muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


Defending Cortez
by Sian (sian_nip@hotmail.com) on 10-02-2006, 04:59

Cortez did not murder Montezuma his only people killed him after Cortez's right hand man left in charge while he went to get rid of some other spanish things. His right hand man killed 600 nobles but that wasn't Cortez's command... later Montezuma's own people stone him hit him in the head and he died 3 days later


Cortez did kill him and his men...
by Dan myth buster (dffybike@hotmail.com) on 02-01-2006, 20:01

Montezuma was killed by them that is fact. Do some research beside google surfing you arm chair jockey. Pick up books and archives of folks listed from back then and you will find what happened was slaughter of men, women, elderly, and youth. This was done by more then the sword, which by the way have been documented by priests of the time..they used people as practice after they sharpened their swords, many thousands died from the disease that had been weaking their culture for years...brought by the spainish. This is why the marched in with a hand full of men and took them over...they were dying in lrage numbers like Americas native cultures of the plans....Virgin soil epidemics...small pox, influenza, and all the other Euro and african diseases that were brought in by Spaniards and their slaves. I can see most folks don't take this matter seriously or even know anything about it. Pick up a book and read go talk to native americans and you will see some screwed up stuff. Learn that CORTEZ IS A KILLER!!!!!


cortes
by devin holland (cathymholland@aol.com) on 01-18-2006, 17:00

In your article about hernando cortes, you mentioned that he had 500 trained soldiers armed with the latest weaponry and domesticated horses. What you failed to mention is the enemy force that he was up against. Granted, you are correct in that he was welcomed into tenochitlan because the people thought he was the "white god " quetzalquatl, but you are way off in your statement that he killed montezuma. Montezuma was killed by his own people after they rebelled against cortes and kicked him out of the city. At first, cortes faced only token resistance, but later, during the open warfare after the rebellion, he faced determined resistance by over 20,000 indian warriors. People also almays emphasize the fact that he had muskets as well. He only had about 30 muskets, and these took over 2 minutes to reload. Cortes had no military advantages over the aztecs, he outsmarted them. you need to read up some more and stop relying on high school world history where half the facts are skewed. I would know, I am a 14 year old freshman who is doing a research paper on cortes. thank you.


this
by Jordan (wakeboard101@yahoo.com) on 01-10-2006, 07:54

thats so gay!


Points I Found
by Katarina (sky_siren82@yahoo.com) on 01-07-2006, 18:36

First! Great job, this is a piece i am going to put in my bookmarks and send to friends.
Second! They have a point, Cortez DID NOT kill Montezuma. No he only FUCKIN IMPRISONED HIM GOD DAMMIT!
Third! Cortez was a brutal, chauvinistic, murderuos TRAITOR!
And lastly! Good job Mark.


Doh
by Nicolai (ngulag@gmail.com) on 12-14-2005, 02:05

I totally agree with you


math
by bleep (abc@yahoo.com) on 12-02-2005, 12:39

hi dude


Cortes
by Tim (t.andress@mchsi.com) on 11-07-2005, 14:24

Evil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


omg
by bill (looser987@cheatcc.com) on 10-19-2005, 17:10

i haev 2 do a report on him god im only 10 u guys good at dissing his gae ass!!!


omg
by bill (looser987@cheatcc.com) on 10-19-2005, 17:09

i haev 2 do a report on him god im only 10 u guys good at dissing his gae ass!!!


hernando the great
by cool girl (coolgirlfromla2004@yahoo.com) on 06-07-2005, 23:06

I really do agree with you. Why would someone think he was a god if he came on a boat with musty, greedy crew men? I think he took them for advantage. present day people think that the people we run into everyday are horrible.they should realy take a time machine back a few hundrd years! It was propably 10 times worse if you really think about it because people were so stupid! I t was'nt really a choice for me to do a project on this stupid spaniard guy. Hey if it was my choice, I wouldn't have a history class about some old dead guy who took people for advantage,I think it's a bad influence on KIDS!


THANKYOU
by THANKYOU (edibleclothes@hotmail.com) on 06-05-2005, 05:43

you rule dude, A+ for my assignment


You need more time in history class
by Marinero (amanda@hotmail.com) on 06-02-2005, 11:59

Your report is completely one-sided, and glosses over some rather significant shortcomings on the part of the Aztecs. And, as others have noted, Moctezuma was stoned to death by his own people.

If you speak Spanish, I'd highly recommend a senior-level or graduate Latin American history class. You might even like it.


pee
by Poo Poo (we@iamstupid.com) on 05-24-2005, 16:25

PeE Pee


hernando the hoe!!
by aaliyah (watermelon_girl_17@hotmail.com) on 04-18-2005, 14:33

wow....i loved your article on Cortez!! i agree with everything you say. But there is a point.....what he did would nowadays be considered a terriel villainous thing to do and he would be severly punished. But in his time, that is what seemd right and i do not know any better. But i still think he is a terrible person and what he did is very very wrong. Now, not much history of the Aztecs is known because he burnt up all the evidence!!! anyways, you helped me write a history paper on why cortez did what he did and what i think about it. i got full marks! thanks again...


hernando the hoe!!
by aaliyah (watermelon_girl_17@hotmail.com) on 04-18-2005, 14:33

wow....i loved your article on Cortez!! i agree with everything you say. But there is a point.....what he did would nowadays be considered a terriel villainous thing to do and he would be severly punished. But in his time, that is what seemd right and i do not know any better. But i still think he is a terrible person and what he did is very very wrong. Now, not much history of the Aztecs is known because he burnt up all the evidence!!! anyways, you helped me write a history paper on why cortez did what he did and what i think about it. i got full marks! thanks again...


hernando bum
by Botrob (we@iamstupid.net) on 02-09-2005, 08:10

lalalalalalalalaallalalalalalalallalalalaalaklalallaalalalalallalalalalalaal


this is pretty cool
by rachel (rose_angel_84@yahoo.com) on 01-24-2005, 00:04

mark this site really hepled me with a paper i had to do for my college history calss... i had to choose a villian to write about and prove why i thought they were a villian. i chose cortez. and it was almost like you were reading my miond. every word that you wrote were my thoughts that i was going to use in my essay. thanx for the help.


My Site
by Hernando Cortez (HernandoC@aol.com) on 12-15-2004, 08:18

Hello, This is Hernando. I would just like to inform you that everything on this site is false. I found this on google, and i have read the site. Farewell, Hernando Cortez


fg
by hk (f@eat.com) on 11-19-2004, 12:49

ur evil


CORTEZ -- GOOD
by expert (csjones@yahoo.com) on 09-27-2004, 17:43

Am I the only person who hasn't bought into all the revisionist bullshit surrounding Cortez?
It is not possible to judge Cortez by today's standards. He lived in a different world.
He is not to blame for all that happened to the Aztecs. More of the Mexica died from the 'plague' (probably the Spanish enfluenza) than by guns (by a margin of about 50-to-1).
The simple fact is, Cortez tried to spare as many lives while conquering the natives that seemed to him to be, and objectively speaking were, barbaric. Another simple fact is that while Cortez and his men were cruel and did many awful things. . .as far as conquerors go, they were much much more humane than most. (reference -- french, belgians, portugese, british). BTW -- don't blame Cortez for everything the Spanish did, either, they were 1/2 thru a self-proclaimed crusade to bring 'God' to the new world. . . Cortez has very little to do with all that!


i h8 dis site
by rubbish site (nosy@noneofyourbusiness.com) on 07-05-2004, 06:25

its rubbish im not wasting time riting dis


from mugu
by mugu (mugu@mu-co-za) on 06-15-2004, 21:24

i lov-e this gite is okayn or men pleasece canu you keep ife offf


from mugu
by mugu (mugu@mu-co-za) on 06-15-2004, 21:22

i lov-e this gite is okayn or men pleasece canu you keep ife offf


cortez bad
by julius (idontknow@yaoo.com) on 06-05-2004, 20:25

definitely need to get the facts right dude.
also, give both sides of the issue in an unbiased way will you?
urg


omfg
by jai (number20nascar@hotmail.com) on 05-04-2004, 22:47

wow this info on cortez sux, now imma fail mah project cuz of u shit heads


marklar
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mmhmm
by me again (me again@me.com) on 03-11-2004, 14:00

bleh


piece
by Snoop Doggy Dog (snooper@netscape.net) on 03-11-2004, 13:59

i love this sight in all but u lost u piece of shit u will neva accomplish anything fagget. Damn u and ure fucking site


me
by me (me@me.com) on 03-11-2004, 13:58

i have no idea whats going on


I LOVE IT
by Troy Colyer (mudvilleplayer3@netscape.net) on 03-11-2004, 13:56

I loved your article on Cortes. It gave me the right info i needed to do a professional report. I will tell all my friends about this site!! Thank you so much for creating this site and helping me present to my company Microsoft!!


Coment
by Bob (bobbyboy@aol.com) on 12-06-2003, 00:37

buthead


Coment
by Bob (bobbyboy@aol.com) on 12-06-2003, 00:36

buthead


so,so.
by Tyler (tymighty@epals.com) on 11-10-2003, 10:03

I take sides with Mr.kreutzer


so,so.
by Tyler (tymighty@epals.com) on 11-10-2003, 10:01

I take sides with Mr.kreutzer


Cortez
by Bon (bon_bon1987@hotmail.com) on 04-23-2003, 14:13

Actually Cortes did not cold-bloodedly murder Montezuma, he was stoned to death by his own people. The Aztect Idians were not a passive people, they sacraficed humans by the thousands. I do not think Cortes was a great guy, but you have to get the facts right.


Hernan Cortez is what he is
by Ell (Quintos1256@hotmail.com) on 04-09-2003, 23:14

People always seem to be absesed with critizing Cortez he is simple a conquistadore not a saint he did for the glory of his country furthermore the Spanish had many Indian allies which Cortez probably couldn't have defeated the Aztecs with out em. You must understand that Cortez did a great favor for many Indians living aroung the Aztec empire.


Hernan Cortez is what he is
by Ell (Quintos1256@hotmail.com) on 04-09-2003, 23:13

People always seem to be absesed with critizing Cortez he is simple a conquistadore not a saint he did for the glory of his country furthermore the Spanish had many Indian allies which Cortez probably couldn't have defeated the Aztecs with out em. You must understand that Cortez did a great favor for many Indians living aroung the Aztec empire.


this is stupid
by chicken legs (dno@msn.com) on 04-03-2003, 11:36

I don't know what this is about but I don't like it one bit!


not so ruthless slaughter
by york (tkyork@bellsouth.net) on 03-18-2003, 19:57

We hear so much about the ruthless plunder and slaughter of indignous Americans. The fact is, the Aztecs practiced daily sacrifice of human hearts for the universe to continue. Many of these sacrifical victims came from the neighboring Thaxcalans. Is it any wonder Cortez brought them into his army so easily.


cortez
by Erika Gabriela Garnica (www.garneri@shs.org) on 02-08-2003, 13:36

I just want to say that this information on Cortez really helped me with one of my most important homework. I also got an A plus on it. THANK YOU.


Hernando Cortez
by Nicole (hotsexybabe_2002@hotmail.com) on 04-18-2002, 18:18

I dont think hernando cortez is a bad guy.
beacuse it was the govener of cuba that want after him and cortez didnt go after him so I think it was the goveners fult that he died.
and I just wanted to say who ever rought this artical, thanks beacuse it gave my alot of info on Hernando Cortez for the profect that I m doint.
thanks ALOT!!!!!!!


Why?
by GottaBelive (123fakeemail@fakemail.false) on 04-11-2002, 07:59

Why are you bothering to argue about this?


Hernando Cortez
by Brandon (playboy1304@yahoo.com) on 03-22-2002, 15:32

You aren't anything but a fag who doesn't know what he is talking about.


Cortez
by Gary Theiss (gary_theiss@hotmail.com) on 03-19-2002, 08:40

Not only was Cortez and his men greedy, but the Aztecs were so discusted by their greed they made them drink molten gold til they died! Plus the wimp Cortez had to have nature (Small Pox) kill the Aztecs for him....... stick with farming.


thanx
by Kassie (wilma1234@aol.com) on 03-07-2002, 12:00

This article really helped me with a report thanx too who ever put this out here !


Chat
by Christina (Jemi145@cs.com) on 01-04-2002, 10:16

Well, Cotez did do alot of killings but he did not kill Montezuma. What he did was bring him out during a roit and order him to calm the people. Montezuma tried to calm them but the crowd threw stones at him and he got killed by the stones. The crowd did not want to belive that they had kill him so they blamed Cortez for the death of their king.

I'm not defending Cortez but he did not kill the king.


Cortez
by Kelly (kelakers@roe55.k12.il.us) on 11-15-2001, 17:08

Oh stop complaining. You won that game I do believe.


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