Evanston, Ill. — Actor and professional wrestler Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is reportedly “furious” after he was painted “from head to toe” by a group of confused Northwestern engineering students.

“It’s ridiculous,” said Johnson. “I fell asleep on a bench somewhere in Evanston and woke up the next morning, covered in purple paint and the letters ‘F**k Yeah McCormick!!’ on my chest.”

The group of male engineering students, who have “talked to almost three girls so far this year,” said in an interview they simply were not aware of Northwestern’s own ‘rock.’

“At first we thought it was kind of weird to paint over an award-winning wrestler, actor, and football player as a school tradition,” said Gary Jones, a 19-year-old from Muncie, Indiana. “But then when we saw Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson sleeping in the middle of Evanston one night and we thought hey, here’s our chance.”

“What we did was stupid…no doubt it was dumb,” said Eugene McAllen, 20, from Spoons, Washington. “I guess painting over an actual rock makes a little more sense, especially since the tradition started before The Rock was born. It was fun painting over his pecs though- I wonder if he uses a ShakeWeight.”

When asked why he was randomly sleeping on a park bench in Evanston, Dwayne Johnson cited various reasons, the most important of which were a closet heroin addiction and helping out a fake news writer come up with a lame pun at 5 in the goddamn morning.

The Rock, who said he will be pressing charges, will go back to acting in cerebral, film-noir style thrillers such as his last hits “The Game Plan” and “Race to Witch Mountain.”