Dance Marathon isn’t a sprint, it’s a…well…marathon. As such, you need a good strategy going into DM if you want to successfully dance your way through 30 hours of fun.
The Fighting Methodist’s Dance Marathon Survival Guide
Schedule a “Class-related Activity”
A little known DM policy is the ability to take a short leave for academic purposes. This is supposed to be reserved for only the most dire of circumstances, but who’s gonna know? Slip your TA a few bucks to sign off on the necessary forms – and go off to take your “supplementary final exam” (read: power nap). You’ll be well rested, and all under the guise of being studious. You can’t lose.
Group Nap Formations
It’ll seem a little odd if every dancer suddenly has a final exam on the weekend of DM. So, for those of you that can’t bribe a teacher to help you escape from the tent, there are ways to get some shut-eye on the dance floor. The Romans knew the keystone was necessary to support an arch – using a key-dancer, you too can form a freestanding huddle of sleeping DMers! A dancer in the center of the huddle will be supported by the individuals leaning in from the side – and that dancer will in turn support the others around him or her. Halved ping-pong balls can be doctored to look like open eyes – helping you evade the hawkish gaze of the DM committee.
Pharmaceutical Aid
If you’d rather stick it out and dance for the full 30 hours, you may consider having a bit of assistance. Smoke a bag of meth; consider it an energy boost. Not only will it give you the confidence to be a better dancer, but you’ll also have no problem staying up for all of DM without any sign of slowing down. If smoking is too conspicuous for your particular situation, consider mixing a methamphetamine dose into your favorite Jamba Juice. Nothing says DM like a Mango Meth Smoothie.
(Editor’s note: Don’t actually smoke a bag of meth. Drugs are bad.)
Whether you take this advice or try to do Dance Marathon the old-fashioned way, enjoy your DM and get some rest.
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